IS THIS SITE REAL?
100% Yes. If you place an order, we will ship you a box of rocks.
WHAT KIND OF ROCKS WILL I RECEIVE?
Any type imaginable. The rocks could be any type, size, color, finish, etc. Our value proposition is not so much the type or look of the rocks, but on the frictionless service of bringing them to you. Additionally, we encourage you not to focus on the girth or external appearance of the rocks, but rather the intrinsic value of having any rocks at all. Finally, our best and happiest customers truly appreciate the soul of the rocks, comforted by their stoic, confident presence.
HOW CAN I STAY UP TO DATE WITH BOX OF ROCKS?
WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THE ROCKS?
1. Hold them. 2. Talk to them. 3. Host dinner parties in their honor. 4. Show them to your niece on facetime. 5. Take photos and post to social media with #boxofrocks. 6. Confide in them. 7. Juggle them. 8. Spoon with them. 9. Hang out with them. 10. Discuss foreign policy with them. 11. Listen to Boz Scaggs music with them. 12. Watch Shark Tank with them. 13. Carry them in your pockets. 14. Bring them to "take your rocks to work" day. 15. Show them to people on Periscope or Meerkat. 16. Wax them.
IS ROCK-E THE MASCOT AVAILABLE TO PERFORM AT MY EVENT?
It depends on two things:
1) His mood. He has good days and bad days. Sometimes he has really bad days. Those are not good days to have him at your event.
2) Your budget. rock-E typically gets anywhere from $30,000-$85,000 per appearance, plus mileage reimbursement, but he has offered discounts if a gluten-free meal is provided.
HOW LONG DOES SHIPPING TAKE?
We know you want your rocks. You're thinking "MAN I WANT THOSE FRIGGIN ROCKS LIKE RIGHT NOW!" And that makes total sense. While initial orders after our launch may take a few extra days due to overwhelming demand, we should get back to normal shipping timeframes pretty quickly. However please allow up to 9 weeks for delivery during peak rock season.
HOW CAN I HEAR MORE ABOUT BOX OF ROCKS AND OTHER PROJECTS LIKE IT?
We get this question ALL THE TIME. Click Here to join The Radiculus List.
SHOULD MARIJUANA BE LEGALIZED?
While we probably aren't the right people to ask, we do recommend getting 'stoned' by subscribing to Box of Rocks! (Just to clarify - Box of Rocks does not sell marijuana. When we say "get stoned" that's just a very funny way of describing the experience of receiving rocks from us. And by rocks, we literally mean rocks, not any kind of drug. Although rocks can be addicting too. Please don't smoke our rocks.)
DO YOU DELIVER OUTSIDE OF THE UNITED STATES?
Yes - we deliver to most countries globally. We do not, however, deliver to Finland. We will never deliver to Finland.
WHY WOULD I NEED ROCKS?
CAN I GET A REFUND?
No. Well, maybe. Why would you want a refund? That just seems kinda rude. But if you are truly unhappy with your rocks, which seems impossible, just email us at email@example.com with an essay describing your experience and how much effort you put into loving the rocks and how maybe the rocks didn't fail you but you failed the rocks. We will refund anyone with a deep sense of dissatisfaction.
MY SHIPMENT OF ROCKS CAME WITH TWO TICKETS TO A MEATLOAF CONCERT IN DES MOINES. WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THAT?
Oh thank goodness you found them. Those are mine. Please send them back asap - I'll hook you up with a free month of BOR.
HOW CAN I CANCEL MY SUBSCRIPTION?
First, we recommend having a serious talk with a loved one because you may be losing your mind. If you tell your sibling that you want to cancel your subscription, do not be surprised if they call the police on you. But if you decide to cancel, simply log in to your account and cancel your subscription.
I NEED HELP WITH SOMETHING - CAN I SPEAK WITH SOMEONE IN CUSTOMER SERVICE?
Customer service is our #1 priority. Well, making money is probably our #1 priority, and customer service actually costs money, so customer service is not at the top but it's up there. Game of Thrones is another big priority. We definitely can't help on Sunday nights when GOT is on. Keep in mind if you bog us down with customer service requests that slows down the pace at which we can disrupt stuff and also makes it hard to speak at lots of tech conferences. But if you've put in a solid week or two at trying to figure it out for yourself and still need help just email firstname.lastname@example.org and we will get back to you at some point.